Too Good For 'Em

I was rather taken with this, which featured in Private Eye magazine recently. It is taken from the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle* from the year 1125 AD and so is probably out of copyright.

“In this year sent the King Henry, before Christmas, from Normandy to England, and bade that all the mint-men that were in England should be mutilated in their limbs; that was, that they should lose each of them the right hand, and their testicles beneath. This was because the man that had a pound could not lay out a penny at a market. And the Bishop Roger of Salisbury sent all over England, and bade them all that they should come to Winchester at Christmas. When they came thither, they were then taken one by one, and deprived each of the right hand and the testicles beneath. This was done within the twelfth-night. And that was all in perfect justice, because that they had undone all the land with the great quantity of base coin that they all bought.”

Clearly, Henry was a king who knew how to deal effectively with an economic crisis. It is an appealing thought than in more enlightened times than these, the likes of Sir Fred Goodwin would not be arrogantly hanging on to their bloated, ill-gotten pensions in the face of the misery they have brought to thousands, but would rather have been pleading to be allowed to keep their private parts.

*A popular daily newspaper of the time