”Look Daddy, there’s my man!”, she cried out excitedly. Our daughter couldn’t have been more than six or seven when I first pointed out the constellations in the night sky. The air here in Scandinavia is noticeably clearer and freer of light pollution than where we lived previously in Southern England and the experience of gazing up into the heavens on a cloudless night is that much more intense. The Milky Way appears as a white stripe across the inky blackness and you really get the feeling of looking out through one of the arms of our galaxy to countless millions of galaxies beyond.
She soon learned to recognise The Plough, Cassiopeia and Orion, the great hunter with his belt and his sword. She adopted Orion and he became ‘her man’. She would point him out whenever she chanced to see him.
I was reminded of this as I drove home the other evening. I had spent the entire day helping Daughter to move into her new flat, in the city, some 30 miles from where we live. Orion hung low in the sky as I drove east along empty roads, and I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to that excited little girl, where all the years had suddenly gone.
We’re used to not having her around, of course. She was at boarding school for two years and in Brazil for a year straight after that, but this is different. It’s more final. She’s not coming back, or at least she’s not planning to. She’s decided that the time is right to cut the ties once and for all and live her own life by her own rules.
And that’s how it should be.
From the moment the umbilical cord is cut, your children start to grow away from you. How many times do we see obstinate toddlers determinedly stomping away from their parents as fast as their legs will carry them? All you can do in the end is to guide them, encourage them, support them and be there for them, all the while gradually releasing your hold on them.
Of course, from a purely mercenary point of view, it does mean that we have the house to ourselves again. In that respect, not only has our daughter gained her freedom, but so have we.
But that’s another story.
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3 comments:
As I sit here with my 26 yo old son and his girlfriend living with me, I hope you don't mind me being slightly jealous of you and Heather.
I'd like the opportunity to miss him.
At least, she hasn't moved too far away from you. I know I don't have to say, "Enjoy your freedom!" You will!
Make the most of the empty nest.
Nitebyrd: We had our share of that earlier in the year,but now Son and gf are very well settled in a nice apartment of their own.
Alfie: Chance would be a fine thing! No sooner do we get rid of them than they are back again for Christmas!
Actually, it was good to see them both and we've had a great couple of days. looking forward to relative peace and tranquility in the New Year though.
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